I was really looking forward to going to Rome with my hubby. Truthfully, I saw it as my life preserver. It would be a spiritual pilgrimage. Time away with my husband. Time to really get rejuvenated. So, when my husband and I looked at reality and decided that it may not be best that I go, I felt a little lost. I was not quite sure what to do to restore myself. Because that is exactly what I felt like I needed.
And I knew I needed to do something to get it. We have been limping along in homeschool. And as much as I try to fake enthusiasm and try to rouse the boys to work hard, my heart has not been in it. Everyday, my pateince got shorter. As each week started, I would think, "Just get through this week. Take it easy over the weekend and next week will be so much better." But the weekend would come and Sunday night would be upon me and nothing changed. I was still coughing, my ribs were in pain and I was just tired.
So my hubby and I talked about. I needed physical, spiritual, and just plain, personal restoration.
I began to work out a plan:
1. Spiritually - Go on a retreat. I registered for one that is this coming weekend!
2. Physically- I decided to do the Ultimate Reset again, starting next week. After being sick, being on pain killers, and not being able to exercise, I felt like my body needed a detox and a reboot from the inside out. I did the Reset last year and since I cannot exercise right now, I knew this was the right time and the right way to become physically restored.
3. Personally- I needed unstructured, quiet time alone. Separate from a retreat where you are going to talk after talk and your time is scheduled. I needed time that had no agenda, no kids fighting, no laundry to fold or dishes to put away.
But, you see, that #3- well, it is, combined with the other two, desperately needed. I knew I was at a point that I needed that. I needed a day. Just 24 hours. Not a week in Bermuda. Or a month with a cloistered order of nuns. Just a day where I did not have anyone asking me for something to eat. Yet, everytime I thought about taking that time, it seemed so, so, well, selfish. I am a mom after all, my vocation is to take care of my family.
But I was at a point, all of us moms get to a point, where we need restoration. We need time where we can focus on the "I" and not have to worry about someone else. Because when we do that, when we allow ourselves that time of restoration, we are a whole lot better at being moms. We are much better at taking care of the "we" and the "they" when the "I" has been restored.
A dear friend of mine offered to take my boys overnight while my hubby was in Rome so that I could get away for a little Restoration.
And that is exactly what I did. I headed to a bed and breakfast for one glorious, quiet evening . . .
(To be continued)