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We had no intention of taking our little kids into church today. Our diocese is not holding masses yet, just communion services and with Thomas still recovering from major surgery, we planned on taking turns going in with our older children and leaving the littles in the car.

After the rain finally stopped, I headed outside and picked these. They grow in random areas in our flower beds and aren’t too attractive, if I am honest. But, I just cannot consider the thought of ripping them out. I see them. I smell them, and I think of my grandmother.

This morning, after prayer with all of the kids, I laid my head on the kitchen table. Pete looked at me and said, “What would you like to do today?”

“I guess, go for a run,” I responded, with not too much enthusiasm.

It is Tuesday morning and we are home!  Thomas is happily playing with his sisters in the living room while I sit at the computer to type this.

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I’ve been really struggling lately.  The lingering winter that just won’t seem to break into blooms and sun filled days, the death of a good friend, and the weight of decisions looming have made me feel more anxious and restless.

As soon as breakfast was over, she ran up to her room to get dressed.  She had laid out her pink leotard, pink tights, and ballet shoes.  She even found her “tutu pink” undies so that she matched perfectly.

5 months is such a short time.  5 months feels like forever.  We have been in our new state, new home for 5 months now.  Long enough for the excitement to wane and the honeymoon period to end, yet not long enough to feel like we are truly home.

In the business of the morning, attempting to get my gaggle of children ready for school and mass, I forgot that today was October 4th, one of my favorite feast days.

The wedding feast at Cana is one of my favorite scriptures and on Thursday nights, when praying the family rosary, everyone knows not even to ask to pray the second luminous mystery. It’s mine.

I love researching diets.  If it is new and popular, I probably have read about it some and maybe have even tried it.  Lately, fasting has gained popularity.  You can find books that will provide research on just how good fasting is for the body.

I find it ironic that the last post I posted was about our move that did not happen and how God wanted me to be moldable.  When I typed those words and prayed those words, "God make me moldable," "Move to Wisconsin" was NOT what I was envisioning.

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But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand.   Isaiah 6:48

There are boxes being unpacked in our home.  Boxes packed and meant to be unpacked in a different home, our new home, in a matter of two weeks.

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(You can read  Part 1 here) 

So, by the time Andrew was 18 months old, we knew God was saying no to having more children at the time.  And, as mentioned before, He provided so much peace about it, that we knew we had discerned correctly.

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(I started writing this post months ago, but have not had time to refine it and finish it.  I have felt the need to hit "publish" lately though.  Maybe it is because Hope is too quickly approaching 12 months old and my desire to share it's sentiments would be lost soon.

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Outside my window . . . .

It is a beautiful sunny day! It is windy and cold too, but the colors outside my window just cannot be beat.

I plan to . . . 

Well, I HAD planned to go to mass today.

Two years ago today, I was on the other side of the world.  I woke up too early.  Too excited and anxious to sleep.  My husband and I lay in bed, chatting about the day ahead of us.  After years of hoping and praying, the day that felt like it would only ever be in my dreams, was finally here.

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She was born on a Tuesday during Primary season of the presidential election.  Once settled into my room, I remember the TV being on and the news was all about secured presidential nominations.  The following morning, I scrolled through my Facebook feed and there was a great deal of incredulity.

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It has been a while since I have come here to update you all on life.  Even friends in real life say they don't see me much (I don't leave the house that often) and many only get to see Thomas and Hope through photos on Facebook.  I recognize that this is just our state in life right now.

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When it comes to birth stories, most women do not write up, nor do I think they want to read about, scheduled c-sections. But, I want to remember the day and if I do not write it here to publish, it is unlikely that I will sit down for my own sake, and write, so bear with me as I recount the day.

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40 days ago, Pete, Joshua and Thomas came home from China.  If you have not seen our video on Facebook, take a minute to watch it here.  I am biased, but I cry watching it. EVERY. SINGLE.TIME.

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I have had to change the title of this post already.  I had grand plans to post days ago, but, you know, life with a new one is happening right now and I am at the mercy of his plans (really, HIS plans).   I have not written much since Thomas came home last week.

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As 2016 approached, my anxiety of all that was to come this year began to increase.  Anytime I thought about it, I felt like we were headed for a journey on a high speed train.  And once we boarded, we would be whisked away on a crazy, amazing, and tiring journey that would be full adventure.

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I had thought of writing two separate posts.  One about our daughter's name and one about my word for the year, but really the two go together and I cannot tell the story of one, without the other.  And so, I will unravel both together.

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Since announcing my pregnancy, there have been many questions that I thought could come, and I had prepared answers to these, ready to give a well thought out answer.  Thankfully, no one was so bold or curious as to ask.  Yet still, in case anyone is wondering, I thought I would answer one question.

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Yesterday I posted the above picture to Facebook with the caption: 

The Murphy Family 8.0. Coming in 2016!

#thismomsgonnaneedlotsofgraceandlotsofcoffee #adoptionrocks #andsodobabies

And that was it.  No real explanations.

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Felicity has been in our arms for 10 months today.  And over that 10 months, I have prayed about, thought about, and felt sadness for Felicity's losses.  Mainly the loss of her birth parents.  The loss of everything she knew. The loss of her culture.

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This space has gotten quite quiet for the last several months.  Life is happening and as much as I love this space, I find little time to document all that is happening.

The summer has been busy with many fun and crazy things happening.

9 months ago THIS happened . . .

Dear Joshua,

You know I watch you.  Watch you as you swim each stroke.  And I see the dissapointment in your eyes as you hop out of the pool; hitting the wall after others.  And I want you to know something my wonderful son.

I see you dive in, swim the pull out effortlessly.

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We are on vacation this week. Being in Cape Cod usually makes me wax poetic and reflect a lot.  This year is no different.  I have been thinking about the last year. Being here, at this moment, has brought up a great deal of memories.

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Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together.

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A little over a year ago, I wrote a post called "Her name (and a picture too)!"  If someone would have told me that I would be writing a similar post in a year, I would have laughed at them.

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These next few days mark big dates in our home. 

One year ago tomorrow we got the call that all adoptive families wait for and a few minutes within that call, we saw a picture of Felicity for the first time.

6 Months ago today, she was placed in our arms. Forever.

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Felicity has been with us for 5 months.  5 months as a family of 6. 5 months of having a daughter. In those 5 months we have travelled to the other side of the world, just my husband and I.  We experienced a different culture.  We saw one of the Wonders of the World.  We ate GREAT Chinese food.

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A few weeks after we came home from China, I was sitting down to finalize our adoption expenses spread sheet.  I added the last of the expenses from our time in China and I hit the sum button.  I was a little bit shocked, well, amazed at God's goodness is a better way to describe it . . .

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I have debated about NOT writing this post.  In fact, I was not going to.  There are parts of Felicity’s story that are hers and should only be hers.  So, when this urge to write my thoughts and feelings about March 7th came, I dismissed the desire and call to write and was silent.

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The last few days have been full of fun here!  Felicity turned 2 on Wednesday and then we promptly got a snow storm on Thursday; certainly nothing that rivals what the New England states have seen the last few months, but enough to have everything in the DC metro area come to a screeching halt.

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Two years ago today, a little girl was born on the other side of the world.

Two years ago today, my life changed.  But I did not yet know it.

Two years ago today, there was joy, and I am sure confusion and sadness. Decisions were beginning to be made.

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The documentary movie, The Drop Box, is out in theaters today for three days only; March 3, 4th and 5th.  I will not detract from this beautiful film by filling this post with many words.  I will simply implore you to see it.

As mentioned in my previous post, there are many things I wish I had the time to write about about our family life now and the life lessons, spiritual lessons, I am learning, but there is one thing that I have wanted to share for a little while now. One worth the time it will take to type it.

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It's January.  But, I think you all already knew that. Months have slipped by without so much as a word, in this, my corner of the Internet.  Much like animals that hibernate in the winter, I have felt very sheltered over the past few months.  We have been "cocooning" as adoption circles call it.

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8 1/2 days ago we headed to the airport in China for almost 30 hours of travel.

7 days ago we landed in the DC area and our daughter was declared a US citizen.

We came HOME and Felicity met her brothers.   They have loved her for months and she instantly fell in love with them.

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We have been in China now for one week.

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We first saw her face at the end of April.   Her pictures fill our home.  Our hearts have been with her these long months.  And now, we are just days away from boarding a plane, seeing her country, experiencing her culture, and most importantly, holding her in our arms for the first time.

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